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Hand in hand for eternity

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Dad's Diary 14 - Cane and Cannibal

In my early teens, I was once ensnared by a cane wielding cranky old man. He summed up my pedigree in an extremely unpleasant manner: “Here at last I get to see the illustrious son of an illustrious father who himself was the illustrious son of his illustrious father.”  

After over half an hour of one sided wordy attrition I gathered that my father was a thief at my age, and that my grand father even thought that his son amply exhibited cannibalistic tendencies after he and his group of friends had eaten up all the dogs and cats in the neighborhood. I made a feeble attempt to defend my father and suffered cane-nudges on the knees.

At last I resorted to my last line of defense: “Why don't you take it up with my father instead of me?”

“Simply because I don't want to get eaten up by a cannibal,” said Crank seriously, “and you have been stealthily looking at my grand daughter the whole of last week; that's almost stealing. I know you can't help it; runs amuck in the family.”

My father was not at home; he along with the rest of his old body building chums from his teens – Group of Six - were having a get together. I ran to the place, and insisted on an emergency meeting. I related the whole episode, and placed my thieving-cannibal-father right between the devil and the deep sea.
Pic from www.bestbuytoday.com

To my utter amazement, instead of bowing their heads in shame, all of them burst out laughing simultaneously. Still he owed me a cogent explanation. I was determined not to pass up this opportunity, a rare one at that, to pay him back with his own coins for the trouble he took in disciplining me.

My father agreed to make a clean breast of everything, but bound me down to a promise of not misbehaving with Crank. Here is what had happened:

Crank in those days was known as a crackpot. He had inherited the heavy cane along with an unmatched gullibility, and his favorite past time was chasing boys and cane-nudging them for no reason. Thoroughly irked, the Group of Six decided to retaliate.

They entered the kitchen through the back door opening out to the backyard, and decamped with the entire family's dinner. They also left an anonymous note saying, “Stop caning and avoid starvation.” Crank spotted my father who was the last to clamber up.

As a pre-emptive move my father confessed everything to my grand father, and escaped with a severe tongue lashing. Crank came to complain with the piece of evidence in the form of the warning letter. My grand father told him, “It is because of my strict discipline that you still have hands to carry your cane. He has strong teeth. Don't go anywhere near him; he is dangerous.” He mused for a while, and then added, “I wonder what has happened to all the missing pets.” Crank was suddenly in a hurry to get back home.

Grand father also informed my father, “Don't go anywhere near him (Crank). He is uncontrollable when he is really angry. And he is now vow-bound to murder you and your nefarious group.” They avoided each other for decades, and Crank unburdened all his resentment against my father on me.

The next day when he got me within his cane-range I stood my ground, raised my half clenched fists paw-like, pulled the facial muscles as far back as was possible and bared all my teeth. I could almost read his mind, “.... runs amuck in the family.”

BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE

27 comments:

  1. lololol the sins of the father sometimes helps lol


    http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/04/egrets-nesting-and-newborns-feeding.html

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  2. Loved it..after a long time...Uncle..please do share some more,always a pleasure to read what u write.
    (Kriti...taking a piece of you with me)

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  3. Hahaha - Gotta love it what a family can work together like that. hahaha

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  4. @Jim - it sure can. thanks for stopping by Jim - as always
    @Alpana - you are the best - thanks a ton!
    @ Anna - thanks a ton ANna

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  5. Nice to know that fathers do have their moments of naughtiness as well

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  6. Loved it Mitr, we should learn from our elders.Great piece of writing by Uncleji, am so glad that I met him. He is a legend, be proud of him.

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  7. All fathers (other older people also included) have feet of clay. That is why when people say "learn from your elders," we end up learning everything including sins as well.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  8. @Savira - its not just sometimes Savira - some were quite the kid you know : ))
    @Mitr - I am darling - very proud
    @Susan - I guess that's the case then : )

    Thanks guys for coming by

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  9. a naughty witty post indeed, laughing still now.........ha! ha! ha! every old man has a heart of a childish delight.

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  10. Enjoyed this story Kriti, keep telling them!

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  11. Enjoyed this. We all have pasts, and it was fun to live these.

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  12. @Fantacy - glad it made you laugh! Thanks for coming by dear
    @ Jim - Thanks
    @ Born Storyteller - I know - it really is. Thanks a ton for coming by

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  13. Yup ..good and bad the elders have it all..and send it on down to us....loved this ....As always...XOXOXO

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  14. Lol! Another wonderful story, so charming!

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  15. Your father's adventures and storytelling talent never cease to amaze!

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  16. :) This is such a funny story....no wonder I feel canibalistic at times!! Loved it!

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  17. http://fayelovesfashion.blogspot.com/2011/04/meme.html
    You're being tagged =)

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  18. In the background the rasping sound of filing of teeth drifts through the backyard

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  19. Kriti, love the story, as usual. Be careful...the apple never falls far from the tree. Haa!

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  20. @ DK - and you have added much weight to the entire story - thanks a ton for coming by : )
    @ Tammy - I am doomed now : ). Thanks a ton for coming by

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  21. Kriti and Tapas,
    Daddy you have been a bad, bad, naughty, naughty boy. Great story...

    xoxo
    Jessica
    I have missed your stories and you very much

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  22. Kriti, this was delightful to read! My own family is full of storytellers who can paint the whole scene and characters in a similar rich manner. Every year we have a huge family reunion in July, and I never tire of listening to the same stories shared over and over. In our family, as with yours, there is a good dose of humor that stitches each story together. To my way of thinking, that humor produced even more depth of character in my family. And the best part is that humor truly is Universal. :)

    ~ Dawn

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  23. Wonderful story - humorous and fun!! :D

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  24. Thanks as ever for sharing made me grin from ear to ear ;)

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  25. This is a very good, powerful story. Is it true? If so, I'm so sorry you had to go through a time like that. That must've been rough. :(

    I found your blog from Jessica's site Finding One's way. You had commented on my story Living This Side of Hell and I wanted to thank you so very much for your support. It meant everything to me and it honestly empowered me and gave me courage as did the rest of the loving, supportive comments. It has made a huge difference for me and really touched my heart. :) I wanted to thank you for that & I left a comment with my thoughts under the story for all of you wonderful people who gave such kind words to me. You don't know how much it meant. :) Beautiful stories you have here!I am following. :)

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  26. KEndra yes it is mostly true but those were fun days and we look back with fondness. I am so glad that you found a voice in FOW - I am very proud of you.

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  27. yes it is exactly how I was thinking about it..

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