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Hand in hand for eternity

Friday, December 2, 2011

A Mom Knows

I have been sharing each passing second of my daughter, Agni's, developments with friend and business partner Sulekha Rawat. The latest being the separation anxiety that sets in with the beginning of school. Let me be honest and confess here that this syndrome made much deeper impressions on me and my soul than Agni's. Nonetheless she suffers unimaginably. Sulekha Rawat, the most fantastic Mom and daughter ever, wrote this to comfort me and it touched the deepest corner of my heart! Here is what she wrote:

Mommy Don’t Leave…

I wake up with a heavy heart, 
Don’t like the morning time.
Dread opening my eyes,
Bury my head in the pillows, instead.

I know what happens next,
I drag myself into her room.
My angel sleeps so peacefully,
a smile on her rosy lips.

She puts her arms around me,
And wishes me a happy morning,
But then her face crumples up,
I can see terror in her eyes.   

She remembers its school-time now,
And mummy will take her there.
She feels threatened among the strangers,
In her heart there is a fear.

What if Mommy leaves her ,
And goes away for three hours?
How will she find her mommy,
in the crowd of strangers?

The little girl is scared to let go,
Of her mum’s hand,
She feels safe with her and,
has been her world for so long.

For two and a half years,
They have been a team.
Their bond solid yet so fragile,
Their love so comforting,
and supreme.

When mommy leaves her baby,
and walks away towards her car.
The desperate longing in the baby’s eyes,
Tears at her aching heart,

But they both have to be strong,
Be brave for each other.
It’s only a matter of time,
till the tables are reversed.

Now the mommy will cry,
when the baby sighs.
“I don’t want to go home,
I want to remain at school.
I want to play with my friends,
I like being here.
At home I get so bored,
So please leave me here.”

So cheer up Mommy and Baby,
You are in for a roller-coaster ride.
Enjoy the highs and lows,
Yell with glee and pride.

God bless you both and,
Sulekha Rawat (top left) with Mom and daughter
 long after their separation battles are over
I wish and pray,
That he keeps you safe,
night and day.

P.s. I know daddy loves his angel equally but this poem is about the mom’s experience at the school with the baby. So Daddy kindly understand J

Sulekha aka Lucks


  1. Isn't Sulekha just the sweetest? Hope your little one will soon get over her anxiety (and you yours!).

  2. Oh! I can so relate to that...My little one will be three soon...I know it's time for school.... It is scary that I will not know every little thing that happens to him... Ces't la vie...this too shall pass...until then chin up! Good seems you have a wonderful friend in Sulekha.


  3. How beautiful and comforting!
    I remember as if it were yesterday how my own daughter was so sad when I had to leave her in the care of others. It broke my heart and hers.
    The good news is: "this, too, shall pass."
    Blessings and thanks for sharing this gem!

  4. Beautiful poem by Sulekha! Heed those wise words, Kriti! xox

  5. Wonderful as ever daughter is in 10th and soon she will go to college and being with friends will take up most of her time. Been there, done that...ain't we? Beautiful pic too.

  6. Hey Mitr, I wrote your feelings down after listening to you talk about Agni and her reactions to her new school. Thank you for saying such nice things about me,and thank you friends for your kind words too.

  7. Sulekha..this is so have reminded me of my own daughter never had a problem..but I remember what i felt.
    God less Agni and u dear Kriti..

  8. i've always been my mom's 'mouse', so I know.
    thanks for sharing, Kriti and sulekha.

  9. Sulekha is quite something.... I remember those times but soon they vanish... it will happen soon...

  10. Awww....that was such a beautiful poem. Sulekha you are the best! Kriti I had the same pangs when I sent Ron to school the first time. I remember his tear strewn face and him trying to be brave and telling me "Mummy dont cry. I will be fine" I remember going back home and weeping my heart out, no husband to talk to about it, I called my mom to be consoled. It is time again to part with him and I am dreading it. But that is life. They all have to go and seek their own life.

  11. Soon Agni will say...don't drop me to school ma....

  12. So sweet, beautiful tribute to the mother daughter love.

  13. Totally loved this. It brought back lovely memories from childhood.

  14. Touching poem!! It's so difficult to leave a child for the first time and I believe it's harder on adults than the kids but it must be done. I'm sure you both count down the minutes until you're reunited and the separation makes being together even sweeter. Blessings :)

  15. Swati BhattacharyaDecember 4, 2011 at 9:41 PM

    What a beautiful poem!! Lucks you are the rockstar....

  16. @Corinne - that is the understatement of the century. She is way beyond the sweetest : ) Well its nearly over now - thanks a ton for all the wishes

    @Priya - thanks a ton darling!

    @Padmavani - all the very best with everything! Yes but it surely does pass but it passes too soon : ( I have a fantastic friend in Sulekha - she is everything a friend should ever be and more.

    @Jim - Thank you for your comment and visiting my blog

    @Martha - time does fly right? Yes its passing real soon already. Thank you for coming by

    @Adriene - I am all ears babes : ) Thanks for coming by.

    @Janu - Hope it was easier for you than it is for me. Thank you for coming by and leaving a thought

    @Mitr - It takes much more than just listening to knock down such sentiments on paper. You the most wonderful person ever : )

    @Alpana - Thank you darling! You were very lucky : ))

    @Portia - Thank you for your comment - I was my mom's mouse too. In fact I was a leech ...

    @Savira - its already happening and now I am nervous about taking a secondary role - LOL

    @Rimly - awwww that is such a bitter sweet memory. But look at Ron now ha - those days don't even seem believable any more. Hugs to you darling!

    @Sukanya - Well that's what she was crying about but she is much better now.

    @Jan - isn't it - I was touched to the deepest core of my heart

    @Tameka - so glad you enjoyed this! Thank you!

    @David - Yes I am thrilled when its time for her to come home. Its a beatiful feeling - thank you so much for understanding what I am going through

    @Swati - totally is : )

  17. Had to come back and read it again.

  18. Touching...very very touching.
    I’ve been following and enjoying your blog for a while now and would like to invite you to visit and perhaps follow me back. Sorry I took so long for the invitation.

  19. Sulekkha has such and empathy gift, able to put herself in another’s shoes.
    How old is baby girl? Only 2 and a half? No wonder. I had this problem.
    Here’s my story. I didn’t want mine to forget how to skip, like I did.

  20. Hey Kriti, Sulekha is a sweetheart,its been 8 months now that Kyra has been going to day care and believe me her crying and then me was for nothing:) Sulekha has penned down everything so beautifully and accurately. God bless all u 3, hope Agni is faring much better now:)Cheers mate

  21. I remember those days like they were yesterday! So difficult. Love the poem - hope it helps.

  22. Sulekha,

    This was so heart touching..... I love loved it... Sorry it took me so long to get over here and read you....

    I dread my little on starting school...



  23. @Jess - I am sure you will do much better than me : ). Thanks for dropping by.

  24. posting again, BTW, love the picture of the three of you! sorry have been out of the loop, hope to catch up.

  25. Hello Kriti.
    I am not a parent, but I think I have some understanding of how you must be feeling...sort of like how my own mom felt when, as a young & naive 17 year old, she released me from her love & tender keeping to come to the vast USA. I'll never forget the tears she cried or the look on her face when we waved our final goodbye to each other. Even today when she relates that time to me, it brings me to tears.

    These words written by Sulekha are tender & comforting. She's right of course. Right now is just a transition period & there will come a time when Agni will be happy with her new friends & all memory of unhappiness will be gone. You love your child & no matter that she will age & start her own family (I know that's a long way, she will always be your baby.

    Thanks to dear Sulekha for the kind words & to you for sharing them. I appreciate the visit too.

  26. My daughter is going through it, limiting her life. No playmate, wants to quit everything. I know it is temporary but still heart wrenching!

  27. I have been erratic with blog readings. I have been too busy and because I have been too busy and stressed, I have been ill. Finally, I have decided to take things easily which means plenty of rest and reading and writing :) Sulekha's poem brought tears to my eyes not only because of the poignancy of an inseparable mother-daughter bond but also because of the empathy she feels for you dear Kriti. Friends like this are hard to come by. Friends who deeply feel your dilemma, your pain and who go lengths to express that you are not alone and to tell you that this too shall pass. Kriti, I was in your shoes last year in August when I had to get Elvin used to the daycare. It was a nightmare for me too. Elvin didn't understand a word of Swedish and they, at the daycare didn't understand a word of Nepali. For three weeks I followed him for a couple of hours and during the fourth week, when I left him, all hell broke loose.
    There was his little body gripping tightly on to mine, while the daycare personnel were pulling him away. There was painful screaming and writhing and twisting but I just had to leave him and walk out with the greatest pang of guilt and anguish. Each night I went to bed with a huge knot in my chest fearing another violent separation the next day. He stopped eating and it was dreadful seeing my little one lose weight. He was harassed and it ate me up all the more coz' I knew he simply didn't understand why his mum left in the hands of strangers. My days were hazy and filled with a longing to have my baby back in my arms at the end of each afternoon, to whisper "its okay" in his ears, to lull him into sleep on my lap, to just hold him close until another menacing separation the next day.Five months down the line, Elvin is in a hurry to go to the daycare. As soon as its time to go, he runs around stuffing his bag with his miniature animals and is ready with a smile. Once we are there, he is in a hurry to shed his overalls and then he zooms in, even forgetting to say bye to me. I am finally at peace that he has made his peace with our temporary separation. I am glad to see how independent he is growing up to become. He understands Swedish now but his answers are yet monosyllabic ;)

    So my dear friend, this is a journey charted out for every single mother out there. What we must know is that, it is not a permanent situation and that children are far smarter than we think they are. They can really take care of themselves once the parent turns his or her back. However they like to give us the guilt trip time and again! Gosh this comment has turned out to be super-long but I really enjoyed the poem and was touched by Sulekha's gesture of love and empathy.

    1. Yoshay - thanks a ton for getting back with this fantastic story with a happy ending. Agni is independent at school now too but its the same story whenever there is a change in routine - for instance new nanny, play dates etc... But I am getting there Yoshay and its really comforting to know that there are other mothers like you out there that is walking this path. Love tons....

  28. What a beautiful poem Sulekkha wrote about your experience! I'm certain it is the ultimate roller coaster ride.

    1. @Rachel - she is a very gifted writer indeed... Well I have gotten over the bad tide... Its great now : )

  29. Kriti, I'm a fan of Sulekha's poetry! She has such a gift. My story's a bit different. I always brought my son up to be very independent. He started nursery school at the age of two and a half and already at four, he was entering kindergarten. The first day of school, I was consumed with anxiety. I thought he would cry and that I wouldn't be able to leave him. However, he bravely took his little backpack and lunchbox and headed to the classroom. But not before turning around and saying, "Don't cry, Mommy." Here's hoping your little one soon conquers her separation anxiety!

    1. Lucky lucky you Bella! Your son is superb for not only being brave himself but also making sure you are ok. Do give him a hug from me please. I am as big a fan of Sulekha as you are... She is fantastic!