Victim of the Big B

They are strange things that happen in the brain – I wish I could get in there one day with a vacuum cleaner and suck out the unnecessary. Till such time let me share with you some crazy things it does.

Laziness takes the image of illogical imagery – So it was 2.30 a.m. I somehow woke up with parched lips and a dehydrated system. Everything in my body demanded a cool drink of water (actually gallons of it). But my brain advised against it. Its arguments were as follows:

1. 1.       It’s nice and cozy here. Stay on till sleep takes over again.
2. 2.       Look how cute hubby looks in his sleep – go snuggle
3. 3.       Your fetching water may wake the baby up you stupid selfish idot
4. 4.       The biggest conviction – a picture of a rather helpless but crazily scary man, perched on a branch of a tree, looking inside my kitchen through the window!!!!!!!!! And then just reaching out to me for help of some sort. I would ideally feel bad I think – but I just wanted to screaaaaaaaaaaammm.

So of course the body stayed dehydrated, the lips just moistened enough by a dry tongue and the night a rather restless one! Why oh why!!!

Sometimes after a big argument, when the anger has really subsided, it’s time to make up, close the matter and call it a day, the big B says:

1. 1.       Remember how you felt when he/she said that to you?
2. 2.       How come he/she is not here to make up with you?
3. 3.       Common stop being such a loser and play hard to get
4. 4.       Yo are very very very upset – show it…

A calming hand comes over my shoulder and a voice says 'sorry', I want to turn around and hug –what do I do – push the hand away and leave the house without a destination in mind. Why oh why???

When my ex-employer asked me to do something and put forth an ultimatum – I worked diligently towards the latter (the ultimatum). The task at hand was probably the easier to achieve. Big B said how dare she give you an ultimatum?? Why oh why!!! In retrospect, however, this is the only time I am glad Big B had done its thing.

Oh another one - being educated in a convent we were always told to behave like "ladies". Well most of us knew what that means. In that rule book there is a certain way to sit, eat, smile, sip, walk ..... Somewhere along the lines of practicing this way of living Big B made me act uppity with the boys I was dying to go out with. Whenever my eyes met the boy's in question, Big B would invariably dictate I look away (better still if I could bring up a sneer on my face)!!!!! The result of course is obvious. Never gottem.   Why oh why???? 

After reading this post, please do not confine me to the part in your brain where all the retards live. There is more to me I promise but Big B gets the better of me sometimes …..