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Hand in hand for eternity

Thursday, May 26, 2011

She Walked On

pic - 
She walks on – so what if her legs tremble – she walks on. She chews on an Orbit to take her mind away from disastrous destinations and instead focus on innovations of rolling a gum a 100 different ways in her mouth. Smoothen it with the tongue till it feels like a stretched out cling wrap. Destroy it by chewing on it till every ridge of your teeth has made its mark on it. Then repeat, repeat and repeat. Concentrate just on that, even if it makes you look more like a cow intent on digesting half the grass in its mouth itself. “Life will unfold anyway” – she tells herself – “whether I think about it or not. Orbits are great!” She closed her eyes and visualized her jaws shaping with every bite – shuddered at the picture of herself as a Moose lookalike. She walked on and chewed still.

There is a pitfall in being preoccupied. You reach your destination far sooner than expected – a boon if you like it. Read a book from Gurgaon to Delhi and you don’t even notice the traffic (of course do not hazard this if you are driving. Hiring a chauffeur is a pre-requisite.). If you are trying to memorize the roads, the journey takes double the time you were expecting it to. What’s worse – the amount of time you have to wait at a red light  makes you forget what you had learnt so far – and then you lose interest and read some more… But I digress.

She was there. Her reality faced her like a gnawing fear – she wondered why she was chewing bitter gourd for so long and spat out a white ball as if it were poison! After her bath, she had wet some tissue paper with which she stroked the bathroom floor gently. The shed hair from her head, that were doomed to live a life of banishment after their fall, clinged on to the paper hopefully. She had grinned at her efficiency and flicked the roll into the bin. Presently she thrust this sordid image of herself towards the exit sign in her brain and straightened herself. If you threw a dog into water it swims to survive – even if it never swam before. She knocked on the door, gritted her teeth and brought a sparkle in her eyes. This was it.

A man whose face read profound and impatient opened the door. His salt and pepper beard deliciously trimmed to suit the shape of his face. His round rimless glasses shone in the sunlight but the piercing blue eyes beat it and penetrated her very being.  He moved aside to let her in – a hint of a smile in his lips. She would be judged and tested. Her stoic attitude fortified her and she walked in with confidence. This was a man she would happily sacrifice her right arm to be with but today she felt hollow.
A world champion chess player was going to sit opposite her today – life separating them instead of a board. Today was the day she would be humiliated and cast aside by a man she longed for forever. Go away, she said – to the image of the cow chewing grass again.

The day rolled by. Many who believed rumors of the man inviting amateurs to his house to play got anxious. Was a 16 year old nobody going to beat the very epitome of a genius mind? Online bloggers had started anticipating a diversion in trend; people’s imagination started running wild; event management companies drafted entire proposals for a celebrity appearance from a 19 year old genius; Cereal companies called urgent meetings to draw a budget for her to endorse them – it was as if a tornado warning had been announced and people were hustling to prepare for it.

But she came out only the next day – arms intertwined with her father after a tearful reconciliation! A union after 16 years during which she was forbidden to meet the man who had left her mother precariously stranded because of another relationship.

She had struggled years together wanting to meet this man. She had dreamed of a meeting in which she demanded answers of a teary eyed loser. She had drawn pictures of herself with him - walking hand in hand in a park. She dreamt of winning the screaming match and leaving him feeling sorry for himself…. She had dreamt of winning him over with a hug and bringing him home to a hating ex-wife.

She noticed a filthy black soft ball on the side of the driveway where she had discarded her comforting friend the day earlier. She smiled at the waiting press and said “He beat me.”


  1. That was kinda cool. A bit confusing, but rounded well.

  2. LOL Anna! Thanks nonetheless!!

  3. Glad to know you are still blogging even amidst the chaos of moving home - I remember it well. lol
    Hope everything is well and you are settled in India now.

  4. Nopes Lucy - not settled yet but so very glad you came and remembered my situation. You are the very best - thanks a ton!!!

  5. Moving to India will do that to you in every sense possible!.... One has to sit back and observe the way of life here and then pick and choose and voila you have created your own little world....

  6. Thanks for the advice Savira - yes i think that's the way to go : )

  7. i find it different from your other posts, she is so deep and has crossed miles on her own, at the end also i find her lonely....painful.

  8. Sanchita - guess she was darling! Thanks a ton for coming by : )

  9. it's about time you posted something, been worried that i have not seen a post in a while. i will have to reread this one just too untangle it a bite but it is a a good one . thank you for writing and posting, god bless

  10. delicious prose!

  11. SO here you are??? I was looking everywhere lol

    Some have said it is confusing but I think her mind was confused and your pace and words mirrored this. Or I could be wrong, I take pictures what do I know lol

  12. An interesting post - very different from your regular ones. Liked it.

  13. to be left.. then want that revenge or is it satisfaction? never works when the person you are doing it to doesn't feel they did anything wrong.
    I feel it. I know!
    Whether this is fiction or fact I feel the words.

    Bless you A

  14. Loved the way you have built the story..the anticipation....but I am a bit confused about the story itself:)

  15. Welcome back!! It was an interesting read, certainly makes you think :)

  16. wow, seems like we both have been away from our blogs. Welcome back!

    Loved this post, I feel like I took this walk with her. I understand it but I am confused. I won't reread it as I like the feeling of knowing but not completely understanding.

  17. Great to have you back Goddess. That was some tale with a twist. I loved the first part and cold identify myself chewing Orbit in 100 different ways to kill time.

  18. Kriti,
    I am falling further into my sorrow... I know her pain I felt every word every desire.

  19. Kriti - I thoroughly enjoyed this ...loved the images and the anticipation you created. And the end of course - brilliant. The only thing I'm confused about is Savira's comment - are you back here? Will clarify on FB :)

  20. @Roy, thank you Roy - its a little complicated : ). I am fine - that is if being fine excludes being preoccupied : )
    @Jenny - wow you came, thanks a ton!
    @Jim, were you my cheering angel in some life? You are so wonderful : ). Maybe you know better because you take pictures.
    @ A - thanks a ton for understanding the confusion in the prose - yes you certainly know.
    @ Gargi - clarifications another time over some rare wine - ok? : ))
    @David - thank you very much. Love that you liked it.
    @Debbie - you go girl - thank you for coming by. I love that decision.
    @Jan - thanks a ton!
    @Jess, thank you so much. Feel the sorrow and then shake it off please.
    @Corinne - thank you so very much for all the encouraging words! I am in India now till life brings something else my way : ).

  21. Wonderful read, Kriti. Yes, it was different, but ever so engulfing. Enjoyed it very much.

  22. hiring a driver a pre-requisite, totally get it after experiencing the maddening traffic in dilli. nice.!
    hope you are settling down well.

  23. Kriti, you have crossed a milestone in creative writing with this one; good going. Thank God you didn't write it in the first person.

  24. @Tammy, thanks a ton! SO glad you came by!
    @Sukanya, yesssss - this is the guy you absolutely cannot do without.
    @Tapas, LOL - thanks a ton for your encouraging words.

  25. Wonderful story - it kept me engrossed and guessing. I liked the ending - I had to contemplate the meaning which is the mark of a great story to me. :D Hope your move is going well. Nice to see you posting.

  26. Thank you Mari! I just love reading your encouraging comments - keeps me going. Thank you so much again!

  27. Hello Kriti -

    You know, I read this post quite a few days ago. I remember my comments were not getting through but can't remember if I posted them to you in the group room. Anyways, something really stands out to me after reading your story again. You said, "life will unfold anyway, whether you think about it or not." Isn't that very true.

    There has been many times I've tried to force the "hand of life" but the cards I've been dealth don't match the hand that I want. Hmmmm... letting life unfold. The word phrase sounds like just "living in the moment" and taking life "one step at a time." Very nice Kriti. :)

  28. Hi Charlie,

    thanks a ton for coming by. Yes it always perplexes me this truth about life - they say "life is what happens when you are busy making other plans". Why even bother to worry! Love your insightful comment - thank you so much again!

  29. Beautiful and nicely drafted, Nice read:)

  30. I feel like I arrived late...but, I'm following you now. I felt like you were talking about me when talking about chewing gum. I chew a lot; to keep myself from smoking or when I am stressed so pretty much constantly. Was she content with what she found in her father?

  31. oh i have missed reading your blog mate one of my favourites out there ;)

  32. @Rachit - thank you so much
    @forjenssake - thank you so much for coming by - what do you think happened? I would love to know... I am so glad you are following friend.
    @Charlie - thanks a ton for making my day with your words