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Hand in hand for eternity

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Dad's Diary 10 - Irate Flowers

With her sharp features she could look beautiful if she had access to brush and colors. But the vicissitudes of life had taken its toll. Her imploring eyes and embarrassed smile said it all as she proffered a barely three inches long string of jasmine flowers.

“How much?” Swati asked, slightly perplexed as to what to do with it. She anticipated Swati's mental query as she quoted the price rather brusquely, “Ten rupees; keep it on the dash board.” Women in India actually look for jasmine strings of considerable length to wrap around artistically created hair-buns. Swati paid as she boarded the car. She clutched the money in her hand, raised it to her forehead, and said a silent prayer to God obviously invoking the Almighty's blessings for a hassle-free sale of her bunch.

With her apologies for jasmine strings she receded to her vantage point to survey for prospective buyers with practiced eyes. She kept a wary eye at the rubbish dump near a decorated florists' outlet. A nondescript boy under ten was scouting the dump.

Posh Connaught Place in Delhi, India, appears more starry than the sky on a clear night. All the eyesores on the ground remain carpeted under an unceasing twilight, rapiers of rays of light thrusting in and out of pall of darkness with opening and closing of doors and windows; the impact is further enhanced by diffused street lights.

Omkar, Swati's husband, had taken us all to dine in a fashionable eatery in the area. Before leaving I buttonholed the restaurant usher with a flood of questions. He revealed that the ten year old was his mother's partner. He was waiting for the florists' shop to dump its unwanted stuff which he would forage for 'still alive' flowers including salvageable floral parts for his mother to create strings, and eke out a living.

The boy's duty included washing the salvaged flowers with drops of water beseeching 'saans lo, saans lo (breathe, breathe)'. Flowers responded to his nimble touch by remaining alive for a while more to deck up his mother's strings.

A few months earlier Kriti and her husband, Arijit, drove us to Ocean City, USA. During a stopover, Kriti and I noticed a middle-aged woman with disheveled hair walking slowly towards us. “I think she will ask for money,” Kriti surmised/mumbled. The woman headed straight towards us and said something inaudible. She seemed to have seen better days when she had brush and colors; but now stood in sharp contrast to the ambiance of the area.

A few seconds later, “I say I am hungry,” she rasped in the most authoritative tone as if we were responsible for that. Kriti offered her a 5-dollar bill. She took it and walked away without even a 'thank you.' There plainly was an attitudinal problem. She crossed the road to her vantage point, and crossed herself, thanking God.

Behind the wilted jasmine flowers and the irate scorn of a wilted woman, however, there was a lesson to learn. These were the shields to protect themselves against losing their self-respect. They just did not want to be called beggars, and covered their callings with the best of available resources.

On way back from Connaught Place, as this thought struck me, the smell of car interior freshener metamorphosed into jasmine fragrance. I took a deep breath, but felt a throbbing pang; did we cheat them by offering so paltry a charity for so lofty an ideal?       


BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE

Thursday, March 10, 2011

RD & MSW Made my day

Sometimes you just wander around in the Blogosphere and meet people that are going to make such a difference in your life. Make you smile on not so good a day. That smile often changes the course of events and sets a tone for the rest of the journey till sunset. Then on there is no looking back. Its a gesture that makes you suddenly feel all important - as if the sun would not rise till you wake up... Roy Durham made my day today and many earlier.... Here is why: Poem for me by Roy : )

A perfect addition to my perfect day. I think I have really achieved something when I can bring out the best in someone. If I have done something in creation - I am fantastic! Here is what I inspired in the awesome artist in Mari - colors in Spring. I know now that I can move things around towards the better - because she has given me the reason to believe. Thank you Mari!

Tons of love and respect to both : )

Monday, March 7, 2011

Colors that I am made of


If colors were people how do you think they would be? I would imagine red to be the most romantic and short tempered all at once - also in many ways like a Cancerian... insecure, fickle, loving and unpredictable... But that's just my imagination. (Remember Big B???) 

Anyway, so the intention of this post is to invite readers to tell me what colors mean to them. I feel a certain way when I wear a certain color. My wardrobe is about 85% black with a minuscule remainder of either shades of gray or blue... The minority ‘brights’ live a life of neglect and an immense sense of inferiority complex. 

Image from http://opera.com
I have often wondered whether that points to some kind of imbalance in me. A quick analysis of  the situation that has led to my partiality towards black reveals the following: Emotionally it makes me feel confident and physically (and this is just me again) I feel sexier, smarter, taller and slimmer.... The last of course is a fact about the color - Black does make one look slimmer ... The rest of the positive vibrations may only be a means of letting myself feel alright to face the world. They may be lies that I tell myself but what comforting lies they are....

The few shades of blue make me feel good too. I feel like the evening dusk has just settled on me, I feel like the twilight, I feel vast and inky - mostly I feel like I am a good person. I can look people in the eye and talk honestly. I also feel very brave and mysterious in ways. 

The only time I can smile at bright colors is when I have my eyes closed in really bright sunlight. Have you ever tried this? I would take the MTA to go to work 5 days a week till last year. While everyone wondered how I could take the ordeal of this commute - I could easily say the commute was the best part of the working day. I met up with my commuter friends (we were quite a bunch), choose the seat that was flooded with the most sunlight and start a game.

Darcy and I would take our shades off turn towards the sun and close our eyes. We would then tell each other what colors we saw... It was hilarious - we never saw the same color but the realization that some of those colors may not even have been discovered yet amazed us. All bright and wondrous... A beautiful world where only colors lived sans human, sans numbers, sans anything else at all. Fed and nurtured by the sun and sun alone. 

White is such a pure color too but to be honest I can never wear white until I am assured that there is no unnecessary stuff in my stomach anymore. That it is as flat as can be and completely devoid of any matter that can cause bloating. I remain confident that I do not have to explain this point any further.
I even identify people with colors – some of my friends are orange, others are pink and still others are a mix of many…. When I do not like a client he immediately becomes a dirty brown for me and when I do like him he is a blue or a white. Gold is the color of distasteful businesspeople while Silver is the color of subtle wisdom.

When I die I would like to be dressed in the colors of the rainbow and laid to rest on a black sheet. I love colors – they have added meaning to my life and I remain assured that they will be there with me even in death…



Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dad's Diary 8 - The Vedanta – As I Understand It

Man-robot relationship is virtually a mirror image of Nature-man kinship. A robot is programmed by man to undertake certain specific chores just as a man is equipped with a congenital agenda to undertake certain functions. This agenda, the Karma of the scriptures, makes appropriate adjustment to suit the situations and circumstances at birth, but is infallible.

A man thinks that he thinks. Actually he does not. Thoughts are planted in his mind by Nature with three forces as its instruments known as Sattvas, Rajas, and Tamas, respectively meaning illumination, action and inertia. These three forces (Gunas) are always present in Nature. By an inter-play among themselves, they combine in varying proportions, decisively influencing the man's ego and thereby his thought and action. Man's mind gropes for a line of thought on this or that matter, and grabs the one closest to his attitudinal nature, never really thinking it out for himself.

Swami Vivekananda
 (Picture from
 http://members.fortunecity.com)
Swami Vivekananda who espoused and popularized the Vedanta and Yoga in the USA and Europe in the1890s once put it succinctly when he remarked, “Every thought is extracted out of you.” Sri Aurobindo mentioned (The Synthesis of Yoga), “All conduct and action are part of the movement of a Power, a force infinite and divine in its origin---(leading towards)--- the fulfillment of the divine intention in the world and of the larger universal Self of which each being is a portion – a portion that has come down with it from the Transcendence.”

The mixing of proportions of Gunas is responsible for the result of an action – good, bad or ugly – depending on the preponderance of one or the other Gunas. There is nothing in the world which is not a combination of all three Gunas, their superior or interior manifestation depending on their proportions. The preponderance of any of the sattvic, rajasic, or tamasic Guna will make any work either illumined, or egoistically acted, or afflicted by inertia.

Sri Aurobindo
(Picture from
http://www.searchforlight.org)
We feel responsible for our own thought and action, and we want others to accept the  responsibility for theirs, because of our attaching undue importance to the illusion of our names and forms, triggered by our ego and desire. Remove the names and forms, get rid of ego and desire, what is left? It is variously called the Soul/the Self/ the Spirit. And that makes all of us in this world mates, soul-mates.

There is still a persisting problem. Why am I held accountable for the very thoughts and actions that were imposed on me by a Primal Force which is seemingly beyond my grasp? That is the point that the Vedanta philosophy deals explicitly in its depth and totality. A seeker is required to undertake the most perilous journey ever – search out the Purusha or the Soul in his/her heart through meditation and yoga.

The Vedanta also adds that 'just thought and right action' is possible to perceive and execute once the Soul takes over the administration of the being from a level of higher consciousness. The puny 'egoistic I' gets the beating it deserves and consents to follow the soul in its evolutionary process. After all it's not the evolution of Tapas Mukherjee as a name assigned to the form of a human body, but that of the Soul that embodies it.

Action-less Purusha is the cognitive principle and Prakriti or Nature, revered as the universal Mother Shakti, his dynamic aspect. These two aspects together emerge through evolution as the ultimate One reality, Brahman, the Trinity that is Sachchidananda – the Absolute Knowledge, the Absolute Existence, and the Absolute Bliss. And the seeker realizes the ultimate Vedantic truth – 'He am I.'

BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE


Monday, February 28, 2011

Dad's Diary 6 - Teachers and Discipline


In my school days in the 1950s parents used to be in close liaison with the teachers to maintain a uniform standard of discipline for the kids. The adage -'Spare the rod and spoil the child'- was sometimes stretched to an unpleasant extent. But Dr. Himadri was an exception.

The doctor's daughter, Lila, returned home one day from the school pathetically crying her heart out. She had been grounded within the confines of the classroom as a punishment. Her hand-writing and neatness had to improve, the teacher had warned, or worse would follow. “Either you write neatly in Class III, or never ever write in your life,” was the urgency.

The doctor took it up with the school authorities, and made unnerving statements on the possible psychological repercussions of such distressing action. This was the first case of hitherto unheard of parental interference in school affairs. It ended in the daughter getting exiled to the last bench permanently. “It is even more fun,” she confided to me, leaving me jealous to the core.

My ardent endeavor to get a passport to the last bench to join Lila bore fruit quicker than expected. I was charged with not only having used a dirty eraser, but also spit to smear the hand-writing book. I also qualified for and suffered from detention in the classroom during play time without, however, consigned to the back bench.

At home I waited till my father appeared settled and relaxed after having come back from work. Then I placed my trump card. I related the whole event with well rehearsed anguish, adding the Dr. Himadri part with as much excitement as I could master. But my tears failed to match my wailing.

He held my hands fondly. “Where did you learn to complain against your teachers at home? Don't ever do that again,” he said in a menacingly quiet tone, crushing all my hopes and expectations.

My next stop was Dr. Himadri himself. He gave me a patient hearing. But that was all. “But my father doesn't want to take it up with the school,” I lobbied. He shrugged off dismissively. My morale was at the lowest ebb when I returned home.

All connections got wired up the next day. Apparently, my father met both the teacher and the doctor during his evening walk that enabled him to tie up all the loose ends of the episode.

A day later the teacher caught me in the school, “How dare you complain against me at home? I am going to make an exemplary case out of you,” she roared. I was made to stand up so that the whole class  could see my dismayed face. “That's nothing,” she roared again, “your father has permitted me to do anything I want to teach you neatness and discipline. All fathers are not the same.” Lila, particularly for whose benefit all this teacher-power was beings exhibited, now sat bolt upright with baleful eyes at the disgraceful comparison of fathers.

At home my father made his point, “I am surprised at your audacity; you had the nerve to complain against me to Dr. Himadri!” Was there an edge in his menacingly quiet voice? By that time I was past caring about my welfare. “Why doesn't anybody care about me?” I asked in amazement.

My father seemed to pause and ponder. “We all care about you. But you must treat elders and teachers respectfully,” he said soothingly, and promised to take me to my first ever cinema – Tarzan – as an incentive to remember the lesson.

The back bench along with its reigning queen, Lila, paled into insignificance as the wilderness of Africa galloped into my mind's firmament. But as I look back on those days, while wishing all children trouble free schooling, I know that I for one would not have made it without the rod.               

 BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE


  


Friday, February 25, 2011

Victim of the Big B


They are strange things that happen in the brain – I wish I could get in there one day with a vacuum cleaner and suck out the unnecessary. Till such time let me share with you some crazy things it does.
Laziness takes the image of illogical imagery – So it was 2.30 a.m. I somehow woke up with parched lips and a dehydrated system. Everything in my body demanded a cool drink of water (actually gallons of it). But my brain advised against it. Its arguments were as follows:
  1. 1.       It’s nice and cozy here. Stay on till sleep takes over again.
  2. 2.       Look how cute hubby looks in his sleep – go snuggle
  3. 3.       Your fetching water may wake the baby up you stupid selfish idot
  4. 4.       The biggest conviction – a picture of a rather helpless but crazily scary man, perched on a branch of a tree, looking inside my kitchen through the window!!!!!!!!! And then just reaching out to me for help of some sort. I would ideally feel bad I think – but I just wanted to screaaaaaaaaaaammm.
So of course the body stayed dehydrated, the lips just moistened enough by a dry tongue and the night a rather restless one! Why oh why!!!

Sometimes after a big argument, when the anger has really subsided, it’s time to make up, close the matter and call it a day, the big B says:
  1. 1.       Remember how you felt when he/she said that to you?
  2. 2.       How come he/she is not here to make up with you?
  3. 3.       Common stop being such a loser and play hard to get
  4. 4.       Yo are very very very upset – show it…
A calming hand comes over my shoulder and a voice says 'sorry', I want to turn around and hug –what do I do – push the hand away and leave the house without a destination in mind. Why oh why???

When my ex-employer asked me to do something and put forth an ultimatum – I worked diligently towards the latter (the ultimatum). The task at hand was probably the easier to achieve. Big B said how dare she give you an ultimatum?? Why oh why!!! In retrospect, however, this is the only time I am glad Big B had done its thing.

Oh another one - being educated in a convent we were always told to behave like "ladies". Well most of us knew what that means. In that rule book there is a certain way to sit, eat, smile, sip, walk ..... Somewhere along the lines of practicing this way of living Big B made me act uppity with the boys I was dying to go out with. Whenever my eyes met the boy's in question, Big B would invariably dictate I look away (better still if I could bring up a sneer on my face)!!!!! The result of course is obvious. Never gottem.   Why oh why???? 

After reading this post, please do not confine me to the part in your brain where all the retards live. There is more to me I promise but Big B gets the better of me sometimes …..

Monday, February 21, 2011

Dad's Diary 7 - Artiste of the Hyemal Kind


Biltu was a coward, a reticent, and an introvert so long as the sun rays poured on him. Thin and lanky, his eyes glistened at dusk, and there emerged a totally different personality in enveloping darkness. He had a rare gift of combining frivolity with recklessness in his nocturnal activities.

The long winter holidays in the school afforded Biltu the opportunity to undertake perilous undertakings. It was outrightly dangerous to be with him in his projects, and a shortcoming to miss them. He boasted of being a 'performing artiste of the hyemal kind.'

Of the numerous pranks, the most striking one even faced an intensive though unsuccessful police inquiry. The police came to the neighborhood and questioned all the boys. Biltu was luckily interrogated during his 'solar affliction.' True to his nature, he winced, trembled and stammered his way out. He was not daring enough to pull such a job, the police presumably concluded.

Wintry Darjeeling, nestled in the Himalayan foothills, forced people, particularly at night, to wrap up heavy woolens from head to foot, making movement up the road awkward and slow. The oldies even added thick mufflers on top of balaclava caps that virtually kept only the eyes bare.

Equipped with a black balaclava cap Biltu used to spread out all ten fingers, palms facing backwards, elbows partly folded, crouch-walk silently in a peculiar gait, stand erect right behind his unsuspecting victim, and shrilly shout, 'aau aau' several times before running away the way he came.

He used to pull back his Adam's apple, and force the vocal chord to let out the gibberish sound coupled with a nasal tone in an unearthly fury. The impact was tremendously traumatic. Many a victim, usually a solitary figure in a deserted street, actually cried out in panic.

One such night we spotted a man sauntering his way laboriously up the hilly terrain. Biltu took a couple of deep breath, and silently went on his crouch-walk. We waited with bated breath. The 'aau aau-s' broke the silence, but something was amiss. Instead of at least four times it was uttered only twice.

Two movements occurred simultaneously. The victim clutched his stomach and sat down on the road, and Biltu took a different escape route. We waited in vain for him to reappear. There was no trace of him for the next four days.

Our patience exhausted, we hazarded a visit to his residence. His father came out to announce that Biltu had been grounded for the rest of the winter holidays. “And don't you boys mix up with that bad boy, or he will get you all in trouble.”

After much persuasion, we were granted ten minutes with Biltu inside his bedroom. The 'performing artiste of the hyemal kind' was in a bleak mood.

“I nearly busted his hernia,” Biltu whispered rapidly, “that man was my father. Unlike others he had looked back, we looked into each other's eyes just for a moment, and that was enough for recognition.” His 'solar affliction' was cured after the incident, he informed us, instead he was now afraid of the darkness. Perhaps it was now a case of 'lunar morbidity,' he speculated, as we took his leave.


BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Blog Trotting


There is another atmospheric layer apart from the ones we already know of. At the risk of raised eyebrows and sarcastic comments, I will have to insist on this fact. I know cause I am living in it now. It primarily consists of letters and pictures - not unlike books sans the physical pages, the insane smell of print and glossy covers . It is called Blogosphere... 

Blogosphere is a multi-colored layer spanning from the Earth right through Troposhere and ending in Exosphere. It is mainly composed of emotions, experiences, stories, poetry, photography, quizzes and much more. The inhabitants here survive on “followers” and “comments”. Without these they shrivel and die a sad death. I roam this layer much like a tourist now and am awed by its magnanimity and power. However, I do aspire to stay on and hence I came armed with a whole lot of luggage to add to Blogosphere. The hope that remains is I don't end up polluting it. 

My journey began on an uneventful evening, when a thought just fleeted into my head. Of course I was facebooking at the time. My eyes suddenly strayed to the left hand corner of the page where a I saw a link that said "create your own group". Little did I know then that this was just the beginning of a lure that would hold me in my place for quite a while. Having nothing to do I quickly acted on it, created a "Ladies Club" and invited a few friends to join it. It started with 5 gals and has quickly grown to more than 200 talented members now. Most of them I still haven't met but somehow these ladies slowly took over a substantial part of  my waking hours. It was as if I knew them through and through all my life. Ladies Club became so addictive that I easily ringed out at least 5 hours a day for it. Suddenly this group had all this literature that they brought back from Blogosphere that completely enveloped me. 

So far my knowledge of writers were limited to the ones that were published - whose books I read and the names I googled.  To my complete amazement I was now face to face with people who ink amazing literature, as easily as taking a sip of tea, and for the most part don't even realize their own worth. I was introduced to Blogosphere by Alpana (from the club) and her lessons in life.  As time went by, I had to just take a stroll to Rimly's for some mesmerizing sensuous poetry and heartfelt experiences;  Yoshay's gothic literature at its peak will take over you completely, to be blown over by versatility stop by Sulekha'sLavina even promises a drink while we read about the most interesting events, places and people; to have a light moment check out Priya's amazement at the entire world but herself and Clooney; small incidents in  Sukanya's life make fabulous short stories; Nina's take on movies, literature, life, food etc is just the place to go for a quick recommendation and entertainment, Chokher will easily win your heart with her poetry, Eva's honest portrayal of world through photographs and prose makes you wonder again - why isn't she famous??? Why is Vani not rolling in money? In the meantime I cannot stop reveling at the fact that when these women do get published I would know a handful of famous people.

By this time, I was convinced not only to travel to Blogosphere but stay there for the rest of my life. One fine day, Providence just sent me the ticket as a small pleasant surprise. The ticket had "Bloggers Network" written in bold across it. I grabbed it with all my might and left. As promised, the ticket took me  to the most scenic place in the atmospheric layer - Derek ruled this layer  - he was the leader of the pack, an undisputed chief in the newly coined marketing tool called - social media. Here I met even more fabulous talents - Roy, Sweepy, Ardith, Jim, John, Abhishek, Pandora, PrithwijitCharles, RickyEd , still another Jim, a whole conglomeration of writers and even more people have become my utmost favorite in this world.... they have it all. Blogger's Network opened up even more avenues for me to check out and I moved with a curious soul...

They were even children that floated in Blogosphere - I was amazed at the depth of their feelings - one would probably not even know the intensity of their thoughts if it hadn't been penned down. Joyee’s maturity besieged me while Ishaan’s thoughts revealed the intricacies that can hover in a little brain…

 I have been here for about 4 months now and have finally been given a temporary visa called ‘howaboutthis’. The status could only change to 'permanent' if I abide by the laws of Blogospere and am able to contribute meaningful matter to it while getting enough fodder for survival. My journey continues ... 


Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Dad's Diary 5 - Of Blood and Tears, and Hills and Humor


Sunset - nature at its wildest in Darjeeling
Darjeeling hills and surrounding areas are seething once again under the impact of a political movement that shows no sign of abating. The demand is for creation of a separate state of 'Gorkhaland' outside West Bengal. 

I was there when it was intensified in the mid-1980s by Gorkha National Liberation Front. The man responsible was the party's charismatic supremo, Subas Ghisingh. The movement is now being spearheaded by Gorkha Janamukti Morcha which has wrested the leadership from the GNLF. But that is not my story.

There is no dearth of armed political movement in India. Everywhere the crux of the story is that of a peoples' movement of blood and tears, of bullets and bombs. What, however, distinguishes Darjeeling movement is that the people and political leaders somehow retained their innate humor, even though at times it bordered on uncivil crudeness.

Traitors to the cause were decapitated, and the heads were hung at congested public places. The whispering campaign against betrayal that followed did not threaten beheading, but that the traitor's “height would be shortened by six inches!”

Unsuccessful police raids for the arrest of illegal bomb makers were characterized as “peeling onions layer by layer” on the part of the security forces. Police swooped down at dawn on areas where alleged culprits were hiding, only to find the area deserted. This was “pressing on a half-filled air-pillow,” obviously meaning that the fleeing people had filled up another part of the area.

A renewed refusal of the government to concede to the 'Gorkhaland' demand was once described by Subas Ghisingh in this manner: “There are many people who bring the ax on their own toes; but the West Bengal chief minister is rushing to strike his toes on the ax.”   

Such sarcasm found expression in describing the activities of some of his own pals. Chhatre Subba, a former army man like Ghisingh, was raising a 'Gorkhaland army,' promising his gullible men ample supply of Chinese arms and equipment to be smuggled in from Tibet in none too distant future. In the meantime, he would manufacture arms locally.

View from Tiger Hill - Darjeeling
Here is what Ghisingh had to say about that : “Chhatre's bullets don't kill. You know why? After firing, the bullet goes straight for some distance, and then turns side-wise before hitting the target.”

Chhatre Subba even built a cannon, and invited Ghisingh to inspect its  operations. Ghisingh : “Chhatre first filled up head-end of the cannon with dozens of match sticks in absence of lighting-explosives, and set fire to it. Boom, it went, leaving plumes of smoke behind. The cannon itself flew out and fell some distance away; I nearly jumped as I caught sight of Chhatre. He was plastered with black soot; so was I”.

When they became bitter enemies, Subba even made an attempt on Ghisingh's life. Ghisingh survived the attack. Subba had used a sophisticated AK 47 rifle, and nobody has since then heard Ghisingh complain about bullets hitting side-wise.

In those days young boys, particularly teenagers, found real time adventure in the movement. Playing pranks to ease up the tension was very much the in-thing. 

A group of teenagers, rope-bound to each other, were made to wait outside the judicial building pending their production before the judge. Why were they here? “Murder,” they chorused, uttering the pinnacle of offenses with as much nonchalance as would enable them to momentarily outlive their miserable teens.

In the hustle and bustle of court proceedings, the boys killed the heavy load of time by an ingenuous game. They had rolled up a ball with waste papers and strings lying about, and were passing it around themselves. But that was not the real game, only the cover for a more nefarious and hilarious activity at the same time.

The rolling tea gardens
One dexterous marksman among them placed pebbles in between his middle finger and thumb in both hands, and flipped them with remarkable aim at policemen and lawyers. Whenever  a contact was made the irate victim looked at them only to find a group of apparent street urchins totally absorbed in an innocent game of passing the ball.

 Faced with increasing incidence of 'eve teasing' amidst general lawlessness the police resorted to catching the 'Romeos' with 'amorous' long hair, force them into saloons, and make them pay for the hair cuts. The 'Romeos' soon responded by remaining indoors, and the program strayed into catching anybody with pony tails.

In such a situation, one day my daughter brought home a budding musician to introduce to me. “This is Jay,” she said, as if that was the whole explanation. I looked up from my book to find a boy with lustrous outcrop on his head that tumbled down well below his shoulders. Indeed no more explanation was needed.

What had long hair got to do with music? He was the 'lead guitarist' in the band, he wailed, and would lose his placement if he bore an ignominious crew cut. The prospect of losing his identity was quite despicable for him. I had to pull some strings with friends in the police administration to save Jay's 'guitarist icon'. But interference in such matters was quite risky as would the following incident proved.

The local government-run hospital administration had adopted a policy of making available medical treatment to all including those being sought by the police to save the building from getting burnt down. One late night five boys rushed in carrying a stretcher with a patient who had swathe of dirty white bandages on his head and hands, the elbows jutting out with extra paddings.

As soon as they placed the stretcher on the corridor they started shouting slogans against the government for inadequate medical arrangements. Doctors and attendants led by the senior nurse rushed out to take care of the patient.

One boy caught the doctor by the collar, pinned him against the wall, and raised a fist only to find himself bodily lifted and thrashed down. Even before others could take stock of the situation, another boy found the floor as his resting place. The strong senior nurse with her pointed high boots had gone to work on the boys with such a feline ferocity that the table was turned even before it was really set.

Kanchendzonga - a sight only lucky tourists get to see
In the melee the first person to escape the hospital was the 'unconscious' patient. He abandoned his stretcher and ran out of the hospital; three blobs of white bandage, the head and two elbows, receded into the darkness with such speed that it could hardly be matched by even a healthy runner. He was followed by the rest of the gang.

Two days later intermediaries worked out a deal for the return of the stretcher that the boys had borrowed from a social service club; they had to explain their conduct to the senior nurse. They confessed to having selected the hospital which was supposed to be a 'soft target' for slogan shouting and rampage after they had had an overdose of 'chhang' (millet beer). The mock patient even shed a few drops of tear.

“Take your stinky stretcher and get out,” the senior nurse ordered. The boys collected the stretcher and saved themselves the hefty fine they had to pay to the service club. They looked back from the main door; the formidable senior nurse was tapping the floor under her high boots; the mock patient wiped his fake tears, and whispered, “Now.”

“Stinky nurse, stinky socks, stinky boots,” they shouted several times, slogan style, before running away. The slogan did justice to the points of contact they had suffered at the hands (or rather at the feet) of the senior nurse.


BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Dad's Diary 4 - Agneya aka Agni aka Gungun aka Guni - My Fire


Sparkling whiteness interrupted by a hint of rusty reddish fluidity caved into a black mouth that gobbled up the last vestige of my precious possession – a touch and a smell. The pounding of the washing machine matched my heart's beating that created an uncontrollable fluttering murmur in it.

Agni flaunting a new dress when she was 3 months
She had embraced me tightly, her soft weightless hands on my shoulders, her cheek on mine, as she whispered the oft-repeated avowals with the newest of bewitching tunes - “I love you, I miss you.” My shirt collar quivered under the impact of the whisper. And now the pounding mechanical demon in which my shirt was being washed, was beating the touch and the smell, pouring torrents of water to wash a tear away.

But the memory lingers. The God's own machine that this body is lovingly preserves such moments. “Know wherever there is a spark of unselfish love, I am there,” the universal Flute Player assures, “for I am that spark of love.” Undiminished, unceasing, that will stay with me as an infinite moment caught within the finite-web of life.

She is an all absorbing flame flickering out caressing moments of warmth to beat the cold of this life, announcing her presence with unceasing rapture, “Are you happy?”, “Are you OK?”. Even a trace of sadness triggers off these non-stop queries till she sees a smile, and is satisfied of a job well done. Then she adds, “I love you,” “I miss you,” with unfailing regularity.

She is Agneya aka Agni and Gungun aka Guni, my nearly 22-month old granddaughter, as of now the last of our three grandchildren. She is flame, whisper, skillful, as her names suggest, all rolled into one.  

Just the right fit
Surprisingly a super quick learner, she walked, skipping crawling altogether, up to her bedroom door when she was 6-month old, and issued a guttural sound to make her presence felt. Later we learned to identify the sound to her being angry. Today her anger is expressed by an emphatic 'uhh ohh' that she is fond of uttering it to all and sundry.  

Seized by uhh-ohhing mood, she chooses a victim to dampen his or her mood. If the victim does not break down in tears, she orders, “start to cry.” Obliging her guarantees the victim a warm hug accompanied by soothing, “I love you, I miss you.”   

She learned to use action words with alacrity, “Are you cooking? I am playing.” After her efforts lead to make a statement like, “I am 'funnying' in the shower,” while taking a bath, she receives the correction with great aplomb, “OK,” she says seriously. But 'aich-em” for elephant and 'gibal' for giraffe, two of her earliest tongue twisting utterances, still remain. 'Krincho' to Krishna took a couple of days, and had come to stay.

With her favorite teddy
Once Guni found me reading a book at a time she was obsessed about asking questions of all sorts. “Are you booking?” she asked me. Anxious to finish the paragraph I was on, I sent her out on an errand. She now had the onerous responsibility of informing her father that she was his daughter. She went muttering away, and before long she was overheard asking her father, “Are you Arijit's daughter?”

She hands me over a book. “Come on read,” she says impatiently. She listens to the unfathomable story for a while, abruptly closes the book, and, “finish,” she announces with finality. But she can detect if the reader is cheating by reading from some other materials instead of the book she had handed over. And that is not acceptable.

Ladybug on Halloween
Guni is crazy about rhymes as most babies are. But her ability to form strategies to get things done for herself is admirable. Once she had been calling me from outside the room repeatedly, which I ignored just to see what happened next. She came right up to me and rasped out, “You walk,” and then she grabbed a tiny fistful of my pajama, and led me to the TV table. There she promptly stretched out on the carpeted floor, and instructed me, “down”. I lay down beside her, and obligingly turned over. She pointed under the table, “Blue ball – bring.” I did earn a hug and a 'thank you.' 

She usually lets loose a spate of hi, hello, and  'I love yous' at malls and restaurants, but has strong liking and disliking about who is touching her. Even as my younger daughter, Kriti, ended her particularly slogging pregnancy, Joyee (my elder daughter, Swati's, first born) indiscreetly inquired, “Is she better looking than me?” Earlier she had summed up the situation, saying, her own brother, Ishaan, had robbed half of her life away, and now the “oncoming problem” would rob the other half.

When the siblings visited 2-month old Guni in the US, Joyee and Guni looked at each other with furtive side-wise glances, and Guni literally flowed into Joyee's outstretched arms. The discernible acceptance of each other was complete in a moment and all others heaved a sigh of relief.

Guni impressed Joyee so overwhelmingly that the latter blogged the following words on the former:
“You look amazing. I am the happiest elder sister to have you! You are the cutest thing I've ever seen! I am gonna be there for you always. I love you infinite.”

Showing off her first few pearls 
People often accost Guni's mother to have a better look at the child. Once I saw a man who had crossed us at a mall but had run back shouting for us to stop. “Don't be so selfish,” he had chided, “Oh! Look at those great eyes! You oughta let the world share your joy too.” It's her spectacular eyes that have stopped many a passer by in many a place. In Cleopatra's time, much less would have warranted the launching of a thousand war ships!

Her bluish gray eyeballs, encircled by a black ring, betray an oceanic depth only when she is lost in her own thoughts. At other times all kinds of truant thoughts wave up and down into them.

Leaving her in the US on coming back to India, as I stood with fluttering heart before the merciless washing machine, Guni demanded of her mother over twelve thousand aerial kilometers away, pointing to the bed I had occupied, “Sleep  ... that bed.” Did she want to extract the last ounce of my touch and smell that lingered in my bed?

BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Dad's Diary 3 - 'Joyee is an Enigma'


Joyee is an enigma. A riddle in which the pieces never fell into their assigned places till she started to knock on the teens-door. But she has yet remained to be an unsolved puzzle in her totality.

Joyee with her pet Rushtu when she
was much younger
We had all crowded the nursing home lobby the day she was born, the first of our three grandchildren. An hour or so after her eagerly awaited arrival, a smiling nurse raised her before a see-through glass panel. I remarked almost involuntarily, “A bundle of divinity.” Indrani, my wife, agreed with an ear to ear smile, but pointed out that she had furrowed her forehead and had been crying non-stop noisily, not happy at all to be out in the world.

She plainly had a grouse against the world right up to age 3. But that's when I had a different glimpse of her own tiny world. Fatema, a household-help, a divorcee with two kids, one Joyees's age, and one a few months old, was instrumental in opening that special door. This was in Bangalore. 



On that morning of revelation Fatema came to work in a foul mood. Her former husband was still giving her trouble. On top of that Joyee's contemporary kid was proving too much troublesome. Fatema took the child out in the veranda, and started giving vent to her own frustration on the child. The muffled wailing warned Joyee who jumped down from her bed and scurried out.

Joyee in one of her moods 
What attracted my attention was the coincidence of disappearance of Joyee's legs into the veranda and total silence outside. I hurried out. Joyee's tiny world appeared to be going round and round the only conceivable sun in it, Fatema's 3-year old, on which a silent Goddess spread her body, face down, creating a veritable shield between the sobbing child and her tormenting mother. Fatema stood there awestruck.

When her mother had brought home her brother a year earlier she had shrieked, “Where have you brought him from? Throw him away.” But when she was barely 6, she once locked her eyes into mine with fury oozing out of hers, raised her pointer, and warned me, “Slow down, he is only a baby.” All I
did was to rebuke her brother for nagging, and brought my arm down on the wooden table with some force. I still remember that look, and of course I was the one to blink first.

Joyee was fond of going to the Gul Mohar Club, Delhi, to play with other children. Before coming  home at dusk she routinely visited the library where she read the newspapers amidst the fathers and grandfathers of the area. “Reading newspapers at home is not much fun,” was her view. That must have prepared her for taking to writing seriously when the residence changed from Gul Mohar colony to Sheikh Sarai which had no club of her liking. Today, at age-13, she boasts of a blog spot of her own (joyee-bhattacharya.blogspot.com) where she  has plunged into airing her rather radical views about life and living.

Miss Beautiful
She got herself equipped with a harmonium, tabla (drum), and a music teacher to learn singing, classical ones, and gave up her efforts nearly a year and half  later presumably because it drastically eroded into her time for reading and writing. Two years earlier her school teacher assigned the class to assume any character from 'Cinderella' and write that character's feelings at midnight at the prince's dancing party. Joyee sprang a surprise by choosing to be the wall clock pouring out its heart for Cinderella.

Like her wildly swinging mood between positive and negative poles, Joyee's love for literature does evenly match her hatred for mathematics. To quote from her blog, “I hate it more than smelly socks, lizards, cockroaches, or puke.” When she is seized of math homework problem, any reference to her brother's prowess in it could land anyone in deep enough misery.

She has even gone public about her relations with her parents : “We fight, I scream, you ground me, I disobey you, and at times even raise my voice against yours which always lands me into deep deep trouble. But whatever I am today is because I had you with me. I love you.”

Her father now-a-days is acutely conscious of her presence anywhere. One day he came back home from work, extremely preoccupied with some problems, missed Joyee's - 'hello baba' – but   acknowledged his son's (Ishaan) greetings a step away. The 'spitfire' quipped immediately, “Am I non-existent or invisible?” Her father hurriedly retraced his steps and gave her a warm hug to save the situation, and also himself from the trouble of suffering a long lecture on the philosophy of fairness and justness in righteous indignation.

When she takes my breath away
The 3-year old toddler's 'noch yer fend' (not your friend) rebuffs a dozen times by breakfast has amply graduated into a tempestuous tongue lashing whenever she can seize an opportunity. She is avowedly a 'no nonsense' girl – sorry, 'super woman' - placed to deal with a nonsensical world as a member of the “weaker sex”. I keep telling her if all the women could somehow emulate her diatribes, the definition of “weaker sex” may have to be redrawn.

And it is precisely for that reason my love for the eldest of my grandchildren is tinged with growing respect.

  




     

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Dad's Diary 2 - Bengalis should stick to yapping!!


Tapas with son-in-laws and grandchildren
 (Agni and Ishaan)
 Grandchildren are beings of beauty and joy forever. I have three of them from my two daughters, loving and admirable mothers in their own right. My wife, Indrani, and I often compare the way they deal with their children with our way when they were kids.

I have a new pastime now; comparing the memory of my own situations then with my grand-children's now, and marvel at how time flies.

Ishaan was nine years old when this happened. He had gone out to play with his friends. I noticed from the window that he was running faster than the wind towards home as if being chased by a pack of howling street dogs. He spotted me at the window and shouted for the entrance door to be opened immediately. He rushed inside, and before I had time to close the door, the reason for Ishaan's panic, his nemesis, in the shape of an assembly of half a dozen girls, all aged between six and nine, stood panting before me.
Granddaughters Agni and Joyee (L-R)

I heard the chorus demanding Ishaan's mother to be summoned in total confusion. I was ready to grab any hint from him, but he wouldn't even look at me. So I tried the other end of the problem. I explained that his mother was not at home, and hurriedly volunteered the information that his father was not available either. But if they enlightened me about the state of affairs, I could take it up with his parents when they returned home.

They kind of sized up the wizened old man blocking the doorway, exchanged glances, and then a girl of
'perhaps-seven' pointed out another and blurted out, “Usne usko 'I love you' bola” (He said 'I love you' to her).

A knot started tightening in my stomach with intensifying efforts not to burst out laughing. The responsibility now was onerous enough. So I looked at the irate group with as much seriousness as was possible, and tried to talk out of the fast deteriorating situation.

“Toh kya hua?” (So what?) I ventured. “He does that all the time with everybody. He tells that to me, to his grandmother, to his mother, father, sister. It’s good that he loves everybody. That is no reason for you to get angry.”

Ishaan and Agni
I quickly looked back to see if Ishaan had caught on to the hint. The dull-dumb expression was gone. His eyes glistened with shrewd appreciation and the usual naughty smile hovered back on his lips. The knot in my tummy remained disconcerting.

Then came the femme-punchline: “Oisa nahi, usne dusri-wali love you bola” (not that type, he said the other kind of 'I love you'), 'perhaps-seven' thundered, her eyes sauntering over to the cover of film magazine lying on a nearby table on which an actor and his consort remained frozen in a romantic posture.

This was now too much for me to handle with the tummy-knot holding the laughter came very much near to an explosion. The situation was saved by a holler from the doorway of a neighboring house ordering two of the girls including the spokes-person, 'perhaps-seven,' to get back home. My promise to let Ishaan's mother know about their gracious visit and bitter complaints persuaded the other four to retreat.

I cannot match Ishaan's record of romantic adventures when I was nine. But here is one that would prove that I was also endowed with the rare quality of creating problems where none existed.

It happened in Darjeeling at a time when a series of Phantom and Tarzan comics gradually built up a sense of invincibility in me. And I was itching to try some of their fighting skill, the killer moves having been practiced time and again in my imagination. The opportunity was also not far away.

That fateful evening, as I climbed up the public staircase to reach the upper level of the road leading to the main market, I had no inkling that I was entering my own African wild.

I stood for a while at the top of the staircase trying to decide whether to go up the serpentine road or down. A lump of spittle released from the first floor window perched on the clothesline below and sprinkled out a few drops on my shoulder. A thousand Phantom and Tarzan invaded and possessed my whole being. Aite's face appeared at the window. He smiled malevolently.

'Come down here and wipe the spittle off my shoulder,' I ordered menacingly. Aite came down clasping a pencil cutter so dirty and rusted that together they would be more fatal than its edge. In two swift moves I got him down on the road. I was myself appalled at the prolific application of imaginary moves!

Then there loomed large my father's rather extremely handsome and well-built countenance some distance away. He had not noticed me, and I decamped from the scene carrying the knife as the victor's trophy. The initial euphoria later gave way to regrets as I ran the moves in my mind, and was sure that I indeed had ample opportunity to land two, at least one, 'deadly fist-blow' and another 'equally deadly boot-kick'. But it was time for me to constantly look over my shoulders to avoid any unhealthy surprises.

Another week later all my preemptive arrangements proved hilarious. Nothing happened. Aite had just vanished into thin air. I relaxed my vigil, and once more found time to say, not 'I love you-s', but potently bewitching 'namastes and good mornings, god evenings,' to pre-determined spots in neighbors' veranda in a kind of complaisant sort of way to prove myself to be a straight enough boy. Any aberration in the early 1950s, fortified by neighborly complaints, used to be taken seriously in the family; any grievance expressed by an older person was reckoned as a case reasonably proved, only the quantum of punishment had to be considered.

Normalcy returned, and I quit looking over my shoulders. On such a sunny day I found the owner's chatty doll-faced granddaughter managing their grocery store. I went in to buy a 'kaath mithaai' (pencil sized sticks of boiled and solidified molasses) that was the in-thing in those days. She informed me that all the boys had run down the road a while ago swinging catapults over their head. This meant there was a war-game on, and I had been left out.

I rushed down the road looking for them in the usual haunts. I found myself in a deserted patch of unfriendly territory between the graveyard and funeral pyre where boys did not venture out alone. My nemesis in the embodiment of a perhaps-15 or more looked me up and down several times before the approaching the subject.

“Do you know who I am?”

I really didn't. Somehow I felt my ignorance was perilous enough to jack up the nemesis' belligerency by a few notches.     

“My name is Aitu,” he volunteered, allowing a lingering smile that gradually hardened into a grimace.

I instinctively knew what was coming up, and I had hard decisions to make. No, I decided, I would not defend myself; that would enrage him even more. He was taller, muscular, and way up the ladder in terms of age; instead, my calling him 'daju' (elder brother) seemed to be pregnant with possibilities of launching a self-protection plan that must include a minimum of confusing lies. He did not seem to be a man with whom patience was a virtue.

“I had trouble with Aite, not you, you are Aitudaju,” I began. He stopped me short, stating, that precisely was the point. The problem apparently lay in the affinity between two names – Aite and Aitu.

“You bashed up Aite whom I do not even know, and boys all over the town are talking about me having been beaten up by a half- ‘Bongali’ (todays Bongs). “Why half?” I asked in amazement. The sunny answer came after a rain of 'fist-blows and boot kicks'. I even lost count of how many times I had been hit in the one-sided encounter.

My passivity coupled with freely rolling tears that had welled up in my eyes perhaps disgusted him. He peremptorily asked me to sit down, “Don't you understand that I have a name to protect!” “Sure daju,” I concurred. He selected a few leaves growing on the hillside, rubbed them on his palm, and applied the juicy salve on two particularly nasty looking bruises on my forehead. That was the beginning of a prolonged friendship.

The pain, the embarrassment, the unpleasant prospect of having to account for the bruises to friends and at home, all remained in the back of my head, as I ventured to reiterate my point, “But why am I only a half-‘Bongali’?”

“That is because ‘Bongalis’ are supposed to yap, yap and yap, kill the enemy by yapping. You come down to fisticuffs and lose half of your racial identity.” I decided to ignore even this unwholesome slur on my race lest he invited me to “dare to kill him yapping.”

Two generations down the line, Ishaan would have merited being 'full Bong plus' in Aitu's estimation. After his own fiasco, I had asked Ishaan to explain his conduct, and he retorted, “Your sugar coated blabbering with these silly girls is useless; you should have left the yapping to me.” 

** Bongalis – Bengalis are called “Bongalis” in Nepali

BY TAPAS MUKHERJEE 






Friday, January 28, 2011

Eternity -





Welcome Void followers – Don’t come too close to me as I am eternity, don’t touch me as you may melt and become me, don’t look at me for too long or you may get hypnotized, close your senses as I may just engulf you, devour you….
I was, once just like you – a traveler. I just happened to travel here and speak with Eternity. Eternity was not me at that time – he warned me just like I am warning you now. I didn’t listen and became a part of him forever. I thought I could outsmart him but I was wrong. Eternity is beyond you or who I was then. If you like your life, then don’t stay here too long – go on and choose a door. ESCAPE…
Here’s a hint – if you take the door in the middle it takes you to a cocktail going on in Paris somewhere. The door on your right leads you to the bloggers network and the only other one left leads you to a club… A club full of talented young people – They write poetry and add richness in all’s life, bloggers network is for the readers and the party is full of life. When you are done come back to me so I can put you at ease, release your pains and free you forever. All I need to do is touch you and you and me will be numb to suffering or joy. We will be here forever – for travelers to join. Eventually this void will be the end of all the laughter and all pain and we will be big enough to rescue the universe. I will wait ….

Check out the chapters of  Daisy Lemmas Riff Blog Chai here:

Chapter One: Welcome to the Void
Chapter Two: Waking up.
Chapter Three: Eternity 
Chapter Four: Eternity 2
Chapter Five: Reality of a Dream
Chapter Six: Fragments
Chapter Seven: Dream or not it spoke to me 
Chapter Eight: The Bronze Elephant
Chapter Nine: A lot more Riff
Chapter Ten: Time Loop
Chapter Eleven: Elephant Graveyard
Chapter Twelve - Abyss